If you’ve ever felt like your marriage just isn’t working…
Or that every decision you ever make is countered and shot down by your spouse…this post is for you!
Marriage isn’t easy. There are relational things that we have to work on. There are the material things like money, a home, a car. Then there’s the area of hopes and dreams. Do my dreams match her dreams and vice versa.
Luckily, I had the great fortune of meeting my wife at a very young age. We grew up together in the same little church, which is also where we met…It’s where I asked her to go out with me…and about six years later, it’s where we said our marriage vows.
Having the advantage of “growing up” together made a huge difference in mine and Amanda’s marriage. The greatest difference was that we really knew each other. One of the things that we believe in is this:
Marriage Takes Teamwork.
If spouses are constantly fighting and going in opposite directions…eventually it will literally pull a marriage apart. To be a team means that you are going in the same direction. You have the same goals. You compile your dreams and search for the best ones together. In fact…being a teammate to your spouse is much better than just being a mate to them. Your spouse is more than someone to simply be with. They are the person that God gave you to do life together with…And if you haven’t already noticed…Life often has a way of throwing the unexpected at you at the worst possible time.
You need your marriage to reflect a team effort.
With that being said…I have three suggestions that will make teamwork better in your marriage:
1.) BECOME FRIENDS
One of the things that helped Amanda and I the most was that we were already great friends when she became my wife. In fact, we spent nearly a year out of the six years we were together, just developing our friendship. We learned to depend on each other. We found out about our similarities and our differences. It was a great time in my life. I’m always amazed when I hear someone talking about how they couldn’t marry someone or date a person because that person is too good a friend. Your marriage has to be built on the foundation of great friendship or you will never function as a team.
2.) DECIDE YOUR STANCE IN ADVANCE
Life brings big decisions. If you are married…you won’t be making those decisions alone. Or at least you shouldn’t. One of the best things you can do for your marriage to make it work as a team is to decide where you both stand when it comes to the big decisions in life. How are you going to deal with credit? Where will you live? How will you discipline your kids? What are your core values? There are too many decisions to list…and you’re going to face them all. Start an ongoing conversation with your spouse about where you both stand when it comes to the big topics of life. You may have already made a few mistakes along the way…but it’s not too late to begin a conversation about this. Here’s the deal…teams have to go in the same direction or they won’t work. Marriages are the same.
3.) HONOR THE OTHER PERSON
Simply put…place them before yourself.
There are practical ways to work this one out though…Don’t speak anything but good about your spouse. Treat them with fairness. Don’t expect something from them you wouldn’t expect from yourself. Put them in a place of honor. When a team is at work…everyone has their part to play…don’t take the credit for wins, give it away. Honor your spouse.
Three simple things that absolutely will make the teamwork in your marriage grow.