Why your influence is lagging and how to increase it by 4x

Part 1 in a blog series about leading with kindness

the power of kindness No. 1

Kindness is powerful.

When is the last time someone was kind to you?

I don’t mean just saying, “hello”, or giving a smile in passing. When is the last time someone was truly kind to you on purpose?

This is an important question, one that deserves a real answer.

Why? Because kindness is powerful. It has the ability to do something in a person’s heart that nothing else can really do.

Kindness overcomes difficulties in relationships. It establishes something about an individual’s character; and it helps make you into a leader that influences others.

With this being said, there’s something else you need to know:

There is a difference between passive kindness and active kindness.

Should a person be passively kind? Sure.

Passive kindness is that quality your teachers, parents, Sunday school teacher, and grandmother tried to instill in you. It is the automatic response you give when a person is kind to you.

If someone says, “hello”, the passively kind thing to do is say it back to them. When a person speaks a kind word, or helps you with a project, or gives you a gift…you learned as a child that the proper response is to say, “thank you”.

All of these responses are good and right. Passive kindness is a great quality to possess.

Active kindness quote

But here’s the problem with passive kindness:

Passive kindness is simply a response to the kindness of others.

What this implies is powerful, because it means passive kindness may not show itself unless someone is kind to you first.

But there is another way to behave. There is another action you can purpose to take; and it’s called active kindness.

Active kindness is a leadership quality that can further your influence in others for their benefit. It will make you a trusted leader who has the ability to help others, establish solid relationships, and ultimately be happier with yourself.

The reason active kindness is so powerful is because it’s a choice.

[clickToTweet tweet=”The reason active kindness is so powerful is because it’s a choice. #Leadership #kindness ” quote=”The reason active kindness is so powerful is because it’s a choice. #Leadership #kindness ” theme=”style3″]

It is you making the decision to be kind to others whether they are kind to you or not.

The power of active kindness inspires others to trust you and look to you for help because they see you making a choice to reach out to them. This choice isn’t something you have to do, rather, it is what you want to do.

People naturally gravitate towards those who show them kindness, especially when that kindness isn’t looking for a reward or payback of any sort.

Kindness that’s active will make you a better leader; and it will help you help others for their benefit.

So, if you have a desire to serve others and want to become a trusted leader, active kindness is the quality you need to develop.

Kindness is the real currency

Here’s why other leaders fail, and why you don’t have to

The simple reason is that they leave out kindness.

You don’t have to make the same mistakes that many other leaders make when they strive for power and influence through cruelty or dictatorship. Those things will never work; certainly, not long-term.

People want a leader who has his or her followers’ best interests at heart. They won’t follow a person long-term, who they perceive is in it for personal gain.

That’s why I’m writing this post.

I want to help leaders realize that kindness is the real currency of influence.

[clickToTweet tweet=”I want to help leaders realize that kindness is the real currency of influence. #Influence” quote=”I want to help leaders realize that kindness is the real currency of influence. #Influence” theme=”style3″]

And to help you understand that leadership is more about others than it is about yourself. My passion is to help you see that leading for the benefit of others, not for your own advancement, is the best path to real God-given leadership and influence.

Now, before I give you the secret of how to 4x your leadership and influence let me take a moment to explain one other valuable concept.

Everyone is a leader.

From the teacher at a rural school in farming country, to the parent who struggles to get by, to the pastor in a small church who wants to make an impact on others, to the person simply trying to be a good neighbor and friend.

Leadership is really just about influencing for the benefit of others…helping them go forward in life.

Every person has the God-given ability to influence someone. Even you. You can influence your children, friends, family, neighbors, and co-workers. You have the all the resources you need to push other people forward in life.

When you do, something magical happens…they want to follow you. Why? Because people are very interested in, and become very invested in, a person who cares about them.

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Practicing kindness

How to 4x your influence by being K.I.N.D.(kindness)

There are only four things you really need to do if you want to increase your influence and become the leader you desire to be.

We will focus on an acronym I developed using the word K.I.N.D.

Each letter stands for an action you need to take if you want to be a leader who increases his or her influence. All of these actions put the focus on others, and help you lead from the standpoint of helping other people go forward in life.

So, here they are…

The letter “K”, stand for:

Keep others first.

If you want to transform your leadership and multiply it, the first lesson to remember is that leading people is about them, not about you.

Many people get hung up on titles and position, when they think about effective leadership; but those things are from the past. Power, titles, and position won’t work in today’s leadership economy.

Instead, kindness is the real currency.

The letter “I”, stands for:

Initiate action.

To lead people, you have to take action. No one can claim to lead people if they aren’t willing to take action.

Taking action that ultimately benefits those following you will gain their trust and multiply your influence in their life.

If you hope to increase your leadership, then you better take action quick.

The letter “N”, stands for:

Never pass judgment.

This is a hard statement, because one of the easiest things to do is judge others based on a skewed standard.

You don’t really know why someone made a particular decision until you start getting to know them. Finding a place in someone’s heart will help you better understand what makes them tick; and it will give you the opportunity to invest in their life.

Finally, the letter “D”, stands for:

Desire for others what you would want for yourself.

Why would a leader practice a standard any less than this? I’m really not sure why they would. Because the truth is, if you want to influence other people, you have to put them first. They have to know deep inside that you really do care about them; that you want something great for their life.

Practicing active kindness makes leadership ability and influence multiply.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Practicing active kindness makes leadership ability and influence multiply. #Leadership” quote=”Practicing active kindness makes leadership ability and influence multiply. #Leadership” theme=”style3″]

Every day you have the choice to passively react or actively lead. Which are you going to choose?

It has been said that, “you need to lead with your strengths”. This is similar to putting your best foot forward; and I can’t think of a better leadership “foot” to put forward than kindness.

Larry Shankle is a pastor, author, and blogger. He helps people get clarity and direction in their calling, purpose, dreams, and leadership.

Larry and his wife (Amanda) live in the Arkansas river valley with their two boys (Braxton and Dawson). He has spent almost two decades in active local church ministry serving in multiple leadership roles. Larry has spent the last six and a half years serving as Lead Pastor of GrandviewChurch in Natural Dam, AR.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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