How To Matter More To Those You Love Most

How to matter

Do I matter? That’s a big question. The simple way to matter more to the ones you love most is to add value to their life by living in your God given strengths, gifts, and ability.

Do I matter?

You may have had a difficult time believing that you could accomplish anything good growing up. That used to be me. I believed that for the longest time. “Do I matter?” is a question that you need an answer for. It’s easy to believe the lie that you don’t matter. The truth is, you matter way more than you think. But here’s the deal, you are either going to believe you don’t have any good qualities, or you have to believe that God has gifted you with good qualities. There really is no in between.

When it comes to understanding who you are and your unique set of wiring, you need to realize that you are gifted to do something well. Many people shy away from thinking things like that, me included. To be honest, it’s really hard to write about.

It’s not prideful to feel like you are gifted to do something well. Being humble also doesn’t involve denying that you are good at anything. The simple truth is that you were born with a God given purpose. From the moment you came into this world, God had a unique plan for your life. There are those that reject this idea. The reason they reject it, I believe, is that they just haven’t found God’s plan for them yet.

You are gifted

You were given spiritual gifts to impact the world you live in. You were given a service gift to help the people around you. Finally, you have personality gifts that make you who you are. The thing is, the world is an interconnected place. Your life touches more people than you’ll ever realize. God designed it this way. If you are a Christian, then you probably already know that God considers you part of the body of Christ with a special role to play.

Your gifts, abilities, talents, the things you are good at, your personality, and even spiritual gifts are all meant to help you live in your purpose. Ultimately living in your purpose causes you to live your dream, because your dream and your purpose are connected.

So, what are you gifted to do? What is it that you are good at that makes a contribution to the people around you? Often we think highly of up front talent and ability. But I believe some of the most talented and powerful people are those that use their gifts and abilities in places that aren’t as open to the public view.

The book of Romans, in the Bible speaks about the gift of serving others. Have you ever been served by someone? Has anyone ever taken time out of their schedule to serve you in some way, not looking for recognition? Maybe you have this gift. Are you great at making other people feel better about themselves? Don’t discount a gift like that because it is vital. This same passage tells us about the gifts of being an encourager, and a generous person. Then it jumps to speaking about the gift of leadership, something very up front and public.

The bottom line is this…God has given you gifts to do certain things well. Those gifts are meant to help you live your purpose and fulfill your dream. Your personality is what makes you, you. It doesn’t need to change or be altered because it’s who you really are.

One important key to understanding your unique wiring is to find out what your gifts, talents, and strengths are. You are good at something; and the reason you’re good at it is that God created you to be good at it. To live in your dream, to reach it, to fulfill it is going to require some searching of who you really are. You are going to need to figure out what you are uniquely gifted to do. One of the easiest ways to begin this process is by taking a strengths test. The Gallup organization offers several different tests that can help you understand what your individual strengths are.

Sir William Osler who was one of the founding physicians of Johns Hopkins Hospital said.

“We are here to add what we can to, not get what we can from life”.

Your strengths, gifts, and abilities help you give something back to the world. It would seem that living your dream is all about you; but what you get from your dream is only part of the story. Your dream, when you live it, will touch the lives of those closest to you. In some cases, living in your dream will impact people around the world. “Do I matter?”…Yes you matter!

How to matter

One of the greatest fears you have to overcome in life is the fear of being good at nothing. Why? Because we want to count for something. People desire to be needed and to feel like their life is making a difference. The great lie is to believe that you don’t matter. In believing that lie you are discounting all the planning God has done for your life. To believe that you don’t matter is to look the grace of God in the face and turn away from it. The simple fact is, you do matter. If you want to better understand what your strengths, gifts, and abilities are, look at your life from the perspective of what you are able to do for others. In doing something for others, your life becomes more valuable because you are adding value to other people.


Thanks for reading my blog today! I really am so grateful for you…it’s my mission to help you find and live your dream. You can add value to someone else by sharing this post with them…why not do it now?

Have a great day!


What Do You Want To Be Remembered For?

Dreams, Purpose, Potential

Someday your going to die. No one wants to think about it; but it’s true. We don’t live forever. If you have a dream this is one of the most important things for you to remember.

Chances are you’re worried about living out your dream. How is it going to feel one day when God answers your prayer? How’s it going to feel when your dream comes true? It’s going to be amazing. To live in your dream is one of the most satisfying things that can happen to you.

But to reach your dream requires you to understand your wiring. You’re wired to reach the potential that God has for your life. You’re wired to reach your dream. This question… “What do I want to be remembered for?” is the best place to start when it comes to accurately understanding what you’re wired to do.

If you have a dream, then you need a plan to reach it. Knowing, understanding, and following your unique wiring is where to start when it comes to living in your dream.

This Question Is A Compass for your dream

Many people will never think about this question; but that doesn’t change it’s impact on your life. Deep down we all have something that we hope our life leaves behind. We want our family to think back about us with honor. Wouldn’t it be one of the best things to know that your life changed the course and direction for the lives of the ones you love most? We want our family, friends, colleagues and coworkers to feel that we made a difference in their life. Everyone, including you, wants to know that your life matters.

Here’s the thing…Whether you aim to or not you are going to leave behind a legacy. You absolutely will be remembered for something! You will leave an inheritance to your family that’s much more valuable than money. You have this one life to build that inheritance. So this question of what you’re going to leave behind should be a question that directs your life.

It’s a compass. When you can’t seem to find your way, look to this question. If you don’t know what your true purpose in life is, let this question guide you. You may not understand what you’re dream is at the moment; but I bet you know deep down how you want to be remembered when you’re gone.

Your One Thing

Your dream is your one thing. It’s the title slide to a life filled with amazing content. The dream that compels you to go forward is worth understanding, it’s worth finding out. God has a plan and a purpose for you and knowing how you’re wired helps you achieve the one thing you were created for.

God wired you that way

I remember getting really discouraged a few years ago. It seemed like everything was going against my dream. Have you ever felt like your dream was slipping through your hands and you were powerless to stop it? Maybe for you it was a prayer that needed answering. Either way, sometimes you can allow yourself to get discouraged. There were some ideas that I had been thinking about implementing; but I just didn’t know if they would work. One morning as I prayed about all this, I felt the Lord speak  in my heart.

Here’s what I felt Him saying:

“These things are from Me. I place in your mind the ideas I desire. Don’t doubt my ideas. Lean in to the things I’ve wired you to do. Lean in to the call that I have placed on you and you’ll find the dream of your heart. My dream is being fulfilled in you. Follow the things that I place in your heart; and hold on to them. I have placed them there. Be encouraged, not discouraged.”

Then He said this:

“Is there any reason for you not to trust me?”

I couldn’t believe what I had heard inside. It strengthened and encouraged me so much. And since I was in a habit of typing out my prayers at that time, I typed down what I felt was God’s response to me. I still have it saved in my files and refer back to it when I feel unsure, or down.

You know what? You can trust God!

Here’s the point of that story…God didn’t just wire me to reach my dreams. He wired you too. Why is this so important? Because legacy, what people will remember about you when you are gone is like the hot wire in your life. Legacy literally powers your dream. Really your dream is simply the outworking, or the fleshing out of your internal wiring. When you know what you want to be remembered for after you are gone, it gives you motivation, direction, and a since of understanding about what you were put here to do. All of that helps you know if you have the right dream.

God wired you a certain way for a reason. That reason is simple. There are some things that you probably won’t be able to accomplish. Some people are born with the ability to sing. Others learn that ability. Usually the ones who are born with it are easy to distinguish from the ones that aren’t. In the end, you want to chase the right dream. You want to go after the right thing. To do that you need to be chasing the dream that God wired you catch.

I think you probably already know what you want to be remembered for. God plants destiny in our heart from the moment we are born. Looking back at my life I can see that even from a young age I had a desire to help people. Maybe I didn’t know how to put that desire into words. For sure I didn’t know that God would call me to be a pastor. But on some level I knew there was a purpose for my life.

Here’s why it’s important to understand your unique wiring…Because your wiring connects the switch to your dream. If you get cross-wired, or get things all mixed up, you’ll never reach the dream that you really want to reach. Knowing what you want to be remembered for is a big part of learning about your internal wiring.

I believe that you can be remembered as the person that lived his or her dream. You can make the impact God designed you to make. You can be happy, and satisfied with where your life ends up.

Here’s one thing you need to take the time to do:

Write down what you most want to be remembered for.

Actually write it down on paper. Do you want to be remembered as being loving or kind? Is it your dream to be remembered as a great leader or parent? Or do you simply want people to say that you really made a difference in their life? The key to hitting that goal and reaching that dream is to write it down.


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Never Fear Launching Into Your Authentic Purpose

Purpose, Dreams

Are you truly happy with what you’re doing today? That’s the big question. Are you living in your authentic purpose? Here’s the deal…you can  be happy in your life. God intends for you to be happy. You can live your authentic purpose.

God created you with authentic purpose and He wants you to live in it.

It should come as no surprise that fear holds you back from being happy while living out your authentic purpose in life.

People are plagued by fear everyday and don’t even recognize it as fear. If you’ve ever said to yourself, “I can’t do that”…or if you’ve ever thought to yourself, “I’m not good enough to accomplish ________”…then you may be allowing fear to rule your mind. All the while you believe your being humble.

Have you considered the option that the reason you’re afraid of something might be that it’s your purpose from God?

Now…I know that the Bible says God has not given us a spirit of fear. I get that. But anytime you consider the possibility of performing in the area of your purpose, on your own, there is going to be fear present. Rightfully so. You cannot live your authentic purpose from God under your own power or ability. It’s takes faith…believing in God’s help to actually live out the purpose you were created for.

At my senior prom we had these things called senior prophecies. Someone from the eleventh grade would write down a “prophecy” about every graduating senior and read it aloud in front of the entire group. When it came time for mine, the prophecy said I would be a preacher and a pastor one day. I just about fell out of my seat.

Although I was a christian at the time, I completely rejected the idea of preaching or pastoring a church. Those two things scared the life out of me.

Truth be told, for several years I had already been feeling a gentle nudge in the direction of preaching and pastoring. Here’s the thing…I was an introvert…still am really. The idea of speaking in front of people or leading anything made me sick to my stomach.

I was angry at that little senior prophecy. It was meant for fun. People laughed. I laughed. But inside I was angry that someone could possibly mention something that was already a touchy subject with me.

Thing is…as I look back I can see many times where this speaking thing was clearly in my future. There were opportunities that came to me to speak. There were leadership opportunities even; but I certainly wasn’t looking for these.

My fear caused my authentic purpose to appear false.

Are you denying your authentic purpose because you fear it? I believe many people miss their authentic purpose because they’re afraid of it.

Here’s the deal…under your own power you have the full right to be afraid. You were never meant to live your purpose on your own, without God’s empowerment. But with God…You can do all things. That includes living a happy life in the authentic purpose you were designed to live.

If you set aside your purpose because you’re afraid of it…you’ll also set aside the happiness, contentment, and peace that come along with living out a God inspired purpose.

Here’s what to do:

1.) Ask yourself, “Why am I afraid of this?”

Not once did I do this. It never crossed my mind that the reason I was afraid of speaking in public or leading was the fact that God had called me to it. These things were my authentic purpose. If I would have been honest with myself it certainly could have propelled my life forward faster into a place of purpose.

If you find yourself afraid of something, why not ask yourself why? God has not given you a spirit of fear. Are you afraid because it’s something big that you know you could never do on your own? If that’s the reason…it just might be your purpose.

2.) Overcome the reasons you have to not try it.

Every once in awhile you have to “man up” a little. Realize that if God is for you, who or what can be against you. Realize that with God all things are possible.

When I was a kid I hated taking medicine. (I still don’t like it much) I remember one certain liquid medication that tasted horrible. It ruined me. From that time on I assumed that every medicine was just like that one. To me there seemed to be a big reason to not try the medicine. Over the years you come to understand that the medicine is good for you.

Your purpose is good for you too. From the outside it might look like you have all the reason in the world to fear. But I encourage you to overcome that mindset and step into something that you could never do on your own.

3.) When an opportunity is presented to you, take it.

Is it really a coincidence that you’ve been presented an opportunity to do something you’re terrified of doing? Is it just happenstance that people are telling you, “you’d be great at this!” Do you secretly feel a nudge inside when you think about doing what you’re afraid of doing?

When you get the opportunity…step up and take it. Give it a try. You may not be the world’s greatest whatever…but you also just may find that one thing that God created you to do.

God has great purpose stored up inside every human being. You are no exception.

Please share this post with someone who needs a little nudge to overcome their fear. I bet you know someone right now who could use a positive word spoken into their life. You be the one to share it!



How To Be A Better Leader And Influence More People

Any great leader doesn’t lead for his or her own personal benefit. The reason they lead is to inspire others to greatness. Great leaders lead people to reach their full potential. It’s not the hope of gain, or wealth, or fame. God ordained, God inspired, God called leaders are vital in your life.

But here’s the deal…

As much as you and I need a leader in our life…As much as we need to follow someone…We also need to realize that everyone leads someone, somewhere.

That means that you are a leader. You have influence over someone. Even if you’ve never given an idea like this much thought…it’s still true. If you influence one person you’re a leader.

So…How can you be a better leader and influence more people?

The answer is simple…with your words.

Words are like building blocks in our life. We usually end up being the person that we talk about becoming. That means if your words are constantly negative, hateful, prideful, or full of envy…you’ll probably become that kind of person. The opposite is also true.

If your words are full of life, full of hope…If they are helpful, and encouraging words…More than likely you’ll end up being a person like that.

Why is that important in the context of leading people? When you lead people you’re not the only one being influenced by your words…they are too.

  • If you’re a parent leading your children…they are being influenced by your words.
  • If you’re a pastor leading a church…the people there are being influenced by you’re words.
  • You’re wife or husband is being influenced by your words.
  • Friends and family may even be influenced and impacted by your words.

With all that in mind…Getting your words right seems pretty important.

It’s not just a positive talk thing either. Don’t dismiss this as just another motivational rant…it’s not. Scripture says that life and death are in the power of our tongue.

Proverbs 18:21

21 The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.

That’s why the words you choose and the words you use are so important.

You or someone else will always pay for your words.

In fact, words are one of the costliest things you use everyday. In reality…words are not cheap. They always cost someone. Since words seem inexhaustible…we use them often, we use them carelessly, and often we use them to our detriment or that of others.

To be a better leader, you need to change the way that you use and think about words.

Here’s three ways to use words that will impact your leadership:

1.) Use life giving words.

As a believer in Jesus I think the words you speak are to be a reflection of the Jesus that lives inside of you. God gives us new life. God spoke the world into existence with nothing more than words. He puts the power of life and death in our tongue. Use that power to bring life, to give life, and to inspire life in those you lead.

It’s easy to speak out negative, discouraging, or hate-filled words. Those seem easy and plentiful. But why not change the way you speak and make the intentional effort to raise people up, build people up, and encourage people with your words. Life giving words empower people. They cause others to reach their full potential. Don’t you want that for your kids? Your spouse? Your church? Your family and friends? I believe you do. So speak life.

2.) Use good, helpful, and encouraging words.

There’s a scripture in the book of Ephesians that talks about this…

Ephesians 4:29

29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

Language is part of communication. Communication is a tool used to impart something to someone else. What are you imparting to others as you speak? Do your words have good, desirable qualities? Are the words you speak to people helpful? Do you encourage the people who hear you?

The people you lead, whether family and friends, or even in your business, are trying to build their life. As their leader, they’re using your words as building blocks. Are the building blocks that you provide through your words going to be stable and strong for others to build their life on? Here’s the deal…your words matter more than you might think.

3.) Use grace filled words.

Cut people some slack! Usually the people around you are trying their best to do what’s right, to follow instructions, or to live the life they are supposed to live. Give’em some grace.

Wouldn’t it have been nice to get some grace when you needed it the most? Remember your last big mistake? Didn’t you want understanding and grace? Sure you did…so give grace away to the people you lead.

Now…I promised you that you’d influence more people if you use your words right. Here’s why I think that’s true. Because people gravitate towards positive, life-giving people. In fact, they lend an ear to those types of leaders. Think about the leaders, or teachers, or friends that you’ve loved most throughout your life. I bet they’re the ones that seemed to bring the most value to your life. Bottomline is people want to follow people who raise them up, build them up, and encourage them…and you know what? I believe that you are capable of that. You were designed to lead and influence someone.

Lead with encouragement. Lead with grace. Lead with your words.

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5 Ways To Cope When Your Week Is Really Stressful

Have you ever felt like you’re asking too much of yourself? Sometimes your week just keeps going and going. Truthfully, we don’t always know how to get things under control. There are certainly weeks that are like that in my life…You know what? This has been one of them!

But what are you supposed to do? Things still have to be accomplished. Not getting done is not an option. With that in mind I want to share five simple things that I do during any stressful week to help myself cope with all that needs to be done.

Here’s what to do:

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Somewhere along the way you have to realize that your stressful weeks won’t last forever. It’s coming to an end! It’s not always easy to remember that in the middle of the stress. I remember years ago when I had a factory job we had several yearly pushes. The hours were long. The job was hard. It was stressful. My job was to throw cases. For hours a day, that’s what I did. Sometimes during those long days I felt like it would never end. But you know what? It did! I learned that if I can just keep my mind focused on reaching the end…eventually I would.

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This may sound strange to some people…But I have to unwind. Maybe you’re the same way. When the day has been stressful it’s good to take a few minutes to relax your mind. Do something to get your mind going in a different direction. For me…If I don’t do this…My mind will go on and on. 15 minutes of changing direction, pouring into yourself, reading your Bible, praying, or even reading a good book can serve to refocus your mind and help you wind down from a stressful day. Don’t ever feel bad about giving yourself a few minutes at the end of the day.

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Rewards are powerful motivators. If you know that something good is coming it’s easier to keep going. Plan a day off. Decide to watch your favorite television show. Have a nice dinner. Spend some time alone. Whatever it is that serves as a real reward to you…do it…plan it…take it. Moderate rewards can keep you focused on the task at hand and give you incentive to work harder.

[clickToTweet tweet=”To keep stress in check, live from a list. It creates a sense of accomplishment to check off tasks ” quote=”To keep stress in check, live from a list. It creates a sense of accomplishment to check off tasks ” theme=”style5″]

I didn’t used to be so attached to lists. But the more things you have to balance…the more you need a list. Grow to love the list. It is your friend. Here’s why…Weeks can be packed…If you forget to do something that’s really important it’s just going to add more stress to you. A list can fix all of that. Micheal Hyatt says to take a few minutes on Sunday night to plan your week. I couldn’t agree more. Write it down…then work your list to death! There are two great apps to help with this…of course the amazing Evernote…and an app that I just recently started using called Wunderlist. These are so helpful.

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At some point you have to “call the game”. You can’t do anything else. As a christian I’ve learned that I’m responsible to do all that  I can do then leave the stuff I can’t do to God. Bottomline is this…you’ll never be able to accomplish everything. You won’t be able to fix everything either. The sooner you learn to trust God with the rest…the sooner your stressful weeks will become easier to make it through.

That’s it…my ideas to help you through your next stressful week…Go put the to use!

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